My husband put our (my) french press away in the wrong place and in my despair I almost thought about using Twitter:

My husband put away the french press in the wrong place.  This is the meanest thing he’s ever done to me.

Other caffeine deprived will feel my pain!  But then I realized that I didn’t want to deal with the replies I would get:

Oh that sucks  

If you hired our MR company we give you coffee

French press 60% off

Oh that sucks

So envious you just got up!  I get up at 4 for a 10m run and then sooooo much work

Yeah.

I realized that what I really wanted was one person responding That’s what you got for marrying a tea drinker followed by a 20 minute conversation on trying to  make my own paper filter for my press because making coffee without a filter increases cholesterol and for some reason I care even though we don’t eat animal products in our house anymore because my husband has high cholesterol and vitamin D is significant for stuff.  Also the weather because that’s important to talk about in the Midwest.

And then s/he’d come over with more coffee and contraband donuts and I’d make some pretty charts and edit my friend’s stuff and maybe get some help with the  html tags for this post and  maybe we’d watch Honey Boo Boo while cringing.

To me, Twitter is a way of being there without being there at all.